I've been doing a lot of thinking (this is not unusual for me) and I keep encountering this concept of being vs acting. I find that in today's society little acknowledgement is given to the difference in these two concepts. As a matter of fact it seems that more significance is put on the latter. For instance when a parent gives their child a treat it is generally greeted with a warm thank you from the child. But is the child actually thankful? Are they being thankful? Obviously we all want our children to use manners. We spend time coaching and directing them on the appropriate responses to various situations. Then when they showcase their manners without reminder we in turn receive a small affirmation that we are good parents. After all manners are a good thing and we taught them how to use them. But are we teaching them how to BE them? Let's go back to the first question. Is the child actually thankful? Well let's see... One could argue the child is only displaying what they've been taught and have turned into habit. There's no direct evidence that the child is actually thankful. The only thing for sure is that the child is giving the appropriate response to the situation. They are reacting as they feel they are supposed to. They are acting out thankfulness. Now on that same note there is no direct evidence that the child is NOT being thankful. But if the child does not act out their thankfulness then it is assumed that they are not being thankful. The child is then reprimanded. We are all too quick to assume the child is not being because they are not acting. Now there is definitely a connection between the two but in the end they are two different concepts with different significance. But because of the developed awareness we have in regard to acting carrying more weight we ultimately begin to act without taking a minute to consider whether or not we are actually being.
Okay, so I didn't set out to give a lesson in parenting. That was just a simple way to separate the two concepts. So it seems obvious that as people we put a lot of weight on acting things out. As a relatively quiet and reserved individual I tend to spend most of my time observing and then pondering over my observations. I generally find plenty of opportunities to speak my mind but quite often will let these opportunities go by instead taking a moment to listen and consider. This has allowed many people to make assumptions about me based solely off my quiet nature. Perhaps this is what brought this on in the first place. I feel that these assumptions are largely inaccurate, sometimes even completely opposite of what is actually true. And all because I am not acting. Yet I can assure you that I am being. It's just not as easily perceived. So why not just focus on acting? That's what everyone puts emphasis on anyway right? Well... true... and trust me I have considered it. But what are you being when acting like something you aren't? A LIAR! lol Actually there are circumstances where this becomes more acceptable. When I worked as a manager in retail I use to joke with my employees referring to them as the lowest paid actors. This due to the fact that I would often see them toggle back and fourth from acting "in character" around customers and being themselves when that interaction was not taking place. This coming with the territory of having a job where the company would have it's employees appear and behave a certain way. GASP! What? The guy in the shoe department wasn't actually genuinely eager to help me remove my shoe that I felt unnecessary to do myself only to expose a foul smelling gangrenous sore and resist every urge to puke at my feet?? This actually happened and let me tell you that employee deserved an Emmy for his performance. But seriously don't get all offended that people in customer service aren't completely genuine. Just be happy that they are doing their job.
So what's my point in all this? The only thing I've shown so far is that people care more about the way you portray yourself as opposed to who you actually are. This is true but there are definitely rewards that come with being. When you receive a gift or a compliment take a moment to consciously BE thankful. No matter how small the interaction you'll be surprised at how much more enriching the experience is when you make that effort. Now don't forget your manners. It's still important to share your thankfulness with the bestower. Better yet, take random moments throughout the day to focus on being. Be thankful. Be happy. Be positive. Be imaginative. Be whatever you want! Just make sure you take the time to make a conscious effort. Careful not to ACT like you're being something! There is a difference people. And trust me when you are actually being all of your interactions become much more genuine and valuable.
Finally... For all you dreamers out there... BE your dreams. Forget that "fake it till you make it" garbage. BE it till you see it! Don't you dare let someone tell you that you aren't or that you can't. Show them what you are...
BE.
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